I'm once again uprooting blogs. (if you got directed here for the Shufflethon, I did it on my new blog here.)
I always swore I'd never be one of them. Problem is, my last blog change wasn't of content, it was just an empty change. Different design, almost the same name...
So, I am now blogging under a new title, known as... "Inactively Speaking." Just seemed to fit me better than the Gravy thing.
I didn't feel right writing dark, writing serious, under the gravy emblem. I felt confined to my goofy, cynical humor. This new one is just me. No standards. I've been dabbling in it for a little bit, and should be writing often in a few weeks when I start to get some more free time.
Goodbye gravy.
Hello http://inactivelyspeaking.blogspot.com/
Friday, November 21, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Metalica
Well, it appears Metalica has a new disc coming out.
The way I figure it, we'll hear more melodramatic vocals out of James Hetfield. He'll continue on his new sound path, that will slowly make him sound more like Jodeci meets James Brown, with his never ending "Oooh Yeah's" and "Huah's."
Lars will continue to sport his combover mullet, while making sure to get even more poorly recorded drum sounds out of his kit to try and sound more "raw." We already had the steel sounding snare, by now his cymbals should sound like a gong, and his bass drum should sound more like someone passing gas at this point.
Kirk will continue down his path towards trying to be Dave Navarro meets Chris Cornell. He'll wear nothing but leather pants, wifebeaters, a pink feather boa... except by now I expect to see him having his ears gauged. Of course with all his guitar talent, I expect to not hear any more solos out of him, and him to not play solos in old music when in shows, since it isn't the thing to do according to Lars. James will grunt affirmation in this.
The new bass player doesn't count. He'll just enjoy the ride and make cash off the now tone deaf, overtly loyal Metalica fans who can't accept the band they love so much turned to shit about 15 years ago.
What was once THE metal band will continue to pump out bad music. By now, I expect to hear the sounds of an emo band on meth. James will probably write a song called "The Death of My Tears, oooh yeah, HUAH!!!" which will have huge commercial success in places like Miami, Hollywood, and Manhattan. I expect at least 3 Timbaland remixes of the song, one of them featuring Lil Jon.
The way I figure it, we'll hear more melodramatic vocals out of James Hetfield. He'll continue on his new sound path, that will slowly make him sound more like Jodeci meets James Brown, with his never ending "Oooh Yeah's" and "Huah's."
Lars will continue to sport his combover mullet, while making sure to get even more poorly recorded drum sounds out of his kit to try and sound more "raw." We already had the steel sounding snare, by now his cymbals should sound like a gong, and his bass drum should sound more like someone passing gas at this point.
Kirk will continue down his path towards trying to be Dave Navarro meets Chris Cornell. He'll wear nothing but leather pants, wifebeaters, a pink feather boa... except by now I expect to see him having his ears gauged. Of course with all his guitar talent, I expect to not hear any more solos out of him, and him to not play solos in old music when in shows, since it isn't the thing to do according to Lars. James will grunt affirmation in this.
The new bass player doesn't count. He'll just enjoy the ride and make cash off the now tone deaf, overtly loyal Metalica fans who can't accept the band they love so much turned to shit about 15 years ago.
What was once THE metal band will continue to pump out bad music. By now, I expect to hear the sounds of an emo band on meth. James will probably write a song called "The Death of My Tears, oooh yeah, HUAH!!!" which will have huge commercial success in places like Miami, Hollywood, and Manhattan. I expect at least 3 Timbaland remixes of the song, one of them featuring Lil Jon.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Fact Sheet: Vladimir Putin
- Putin doesn't know the word paranoia... everyone is just after him for some reason.
- Putin invented democracy.
- Putin can eat 3 kilo's of Polonium 210 without making a face.
- Putin doesn't need a fishing pole, he just drops an old nuke in the lake.
- Putin didn't run for president because he knows he'll be Czar soon.
- Putin can solve any diplomatic crisis... with his fists.
- Human rights are not important for Putin. After all, he is more than human.
- When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Putin.
- When Putin plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
- Putin doesn't have a penis, he has an ICBM.
- They say Bruce Lee died from painkillers. Sure, you can call Putin a Painkiller.
- Chuck Norris and Putin were in a fight once. The next day, Walker: Texas Ranger was canceled.
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Magic Tricycle
Today, I remembered something important. Something I had completely forgotten about...
The Magic Tricycle.
The Magic Tricycle is a wonderful thing, that comes to us when we are on heavy drinking binges. It finds us, and keeps us up as we travel from party to party, and bar to bar, drinking ourselves further into genius levels of stupidity.
The Magic Tricycle is priceless on this journey, for we would never be able to find our way, and consume as many beverages without it. For, when on the magic tricycle, we will always find our way home.
We may awaken to find ourselves with unknown causes of multipal bruises and lacerations, but we will find ourselves home. We may not know how all our clothes got taken off, or why our underwear is in the front yard, hanging from a tree branch. This is not the magic tricycles worry. Its sole purpose is to aid in consumption, and return to destination.
Sometimes we're "lucky" and someone will have even jumped on the handlebars and joined us on our travels. They usually end up having many similarities to the legendary Grape Ape.
Its all part of the fun, magical journey on: our Magic Tricycle.
The Magic Tricycle.
The Magic Tricycle is a wonderful thing, that comes to us when we are on heavy drinking binges. It finds us, and keeps us up as we travel from party to party, and bar to bar, drinking ourselves further into genius levels of stupidity.
The Magic Tricycle is priceless on this journey, for we would never be able to find our way, and consume as many beverages without it. For, when on the magic tricycle, we will always find our way home.
We may awaken to find ourselves with unknown causes of multipal bruises and lacerations, but we will find ourselves home. We may not know how all our clothes got taken off, or why our underwear is in the front yard, hanging from a tree branch. This is not the magic tricycles worry. Its sole purpose is to aid in consumption, and return to destination.
Sometimes we're "lucky" and someone will have even jumped on the handlebars and joined us on our travels. They usually end up having many similarities to the legendary Grape Ape.
Its all part of the fun, magical journey on: our Magic Tricycle.
Monday, August 11, 2008
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